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By essence, foreplay is designed to get one ready for sex.

Logically then, foreplay should be restricted to married couples.

"Courting" is the theme on the new season of TLC’s hit reality show "19 Kids and Counting," which stars the Duggar family and premieres tonight.

Two Duggar daughters – Jessa, 20, and Jill, 22 – begin relationships with their respective beaus, Ben Seewald, 18, and Derick Dillard, 25.

“When a lady I was chatting to online realised I was also swapping messages with other people, she called me a cad and cut off contact. ” Americans, I’m told, have their dating rules all worked out.

People meet up with several potential partners concurrently until agreeing to be ‘exclusive’ with one. Here in the UK, the conventions of courtship are rather more hazy – and with dating websites opening the doors to more meet-ups than ever before, we’re still trying to work out the ‘rules’.

However, it can still come as a slap in the face to learn that someone you feel you’ve clicked with is messaging other people. If no actual relationship has begun, is it okay to meet for ‘dates’ with several people at once?At the other extreme, we can’t assume that chatting online implies any commitment, or even any real interest.“I assume the guys I’m chatting to are also talking to other people, as I am,” says one of my Facebook followers.Some folk think a cheeky snog is no reason to climb off the dating merry-go-round.Others believe that even chatting online with more than one person is disgracefully duplicitous. If we want to enjoy the benefits of 21st century dating without getting hurt, or hurting others, perhaps it’s time to agree on a few rules. First off, most Christians would agree that once hand-holding and sweet nothings have entered the equation, there should be no hedging your bets. Then don’t be surprised if the other person assumes you’re in a relationship, and is hurt and angry to learn otherwise.

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